I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
