In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
