At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Randomize
