i don't like sucking hair
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
