my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
