and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
