what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
