no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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