True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I love having hate sex.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
