# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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