I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
