it's too hot outside to masturbate.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
