You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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