Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
