My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize