Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
