Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
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