You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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