brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
My feet surprised me
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
