Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
