just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
