I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
The air taste purple.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize