Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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