I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
His hands were made for my vagina.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
