i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
