i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
he shaved USA in his pubs
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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