i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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