Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
