There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
should my penis look like a turkey
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
