is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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