my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
