she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
