Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
