Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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