what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
