You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
