Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
