do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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