Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
