theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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