i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
