Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
