that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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