She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
