Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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