I need to stop coming to work sober
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
