I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
