wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
