I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
why is half of my head shaved?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
