Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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