Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
