is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
