i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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