dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
