Where did you get a picture of my penis
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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