; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
